🎉 Who the Hell Are We?

A brief, inappropriate origin story.

📦 2023 – The Lightbulb Moment

Sam bought a dildo online. It was overpriced. It smelled weird. It was… not great.

“I could literally do this better,” he said. So he did.

Sam’s Dicks was born.

🔬 2023.5 – Research, Regret & Rubber

Sam learned way too much about materials.

• Jelly toys = 🚩

• Random imports = 🫣

• Silicone = ❤️‍🔥

Sam sourced premium, body-safe silicone. And tested it. Personally. A lot.

🧼 2024 – The “Let’s Make It Legit” Phase

Built a website (yes, this one).

Picked a name that would get blocked by every ad platform.

Ordered boxes that don’t scream “There’s a dick in here.”

📈 2024.5 – Orders Start Rolling In

Strangers on the internet began trusting Sam with their most intimate purchases.

Reviews came in. Sales grew. Nobody’s mom was informed.

🤝 2025 – The Mission Now

Sam’s Dicks exists to make sex toys:

• Safe

• Accessible

• Funny

• Unapologetically normal

Whether it’s your first toy or your fiftieth, you’re welcome here.

🧠 Our Promise

No cheap materials. No sleazy marketing. No shame.

Just great dildos. And maybe a few jokes.